


I've Fallen In The Dark; Watch Me As I Rise

by 9r7g5h



Series: 1000 Days of Xena [26]
Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: F/F, F/M, High School AU mixed with gangs and vigilante justice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-01 06:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8613244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/9r7g5h/pseuds/9r7g5h
Summary: She’d gone so far down that path, she wasn’t sure she could climb back out of it. But she would try.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Ok, so. This was never actually supposed to happen. This fic was just a little plot bunny that wandered in, and after it had, it just took over everything. It’s a bit weird, I know, but I hope you guys still like it! This is part one, and part two should be coming soon! :D Also, I apologize for the grammar mistakes. I didn’t edit this- too busy playing Pokemon Moon and actually watching Xena. Still, enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Xena.

Freshman year:

Xena starts school, and it’s pretty chill. She’s one of those kids who’s kind of a loner, but can fit in anywhere she wants for a short period of time. People like her, but they don’t go out of their way to ask her to join them- the invitation’s just kind of there, and if she does decide to hang with a particular group, they just kind of accept her. Which suites her perfectly. Like I said, she’s a loner, and she has other focuses. Her father was one of those guys who trained other people how to fight with different weapons, and after he died, she decided to take up the family business. So she spends her days at school studying so she can maintain her good grades, and then goes home after school (with all of her homework done because she did it at lunch and on the bus and stuff like that) to train with her brothers. 

Toris is probably the worst of them all- he never had much of an interest, but since he’s going to the community college nearby to get his gen eds done before moving to another university to save money, he’s generally the one who’s home while Cyrene’s at work. So, he picked up fighting to entertain Xena and Lyceus. Lyceus can fight, but he’s not that good. He just doesn’t have the knack for it that Xena does. 

And, of course, Xena’s amazing. She can use a wide variety of weapons in the most interesting ways, and so yeah. She’s a great fighter, she really is. And she’s smart too. She gets good grades, is probably taking at least one AP/Dual Enrollment class, and when she isn’t training, studying, or hanging with the friends she does have, she’s actively learning more about the world around her. 

So, freshman year is chill. 

Sophomore year:

Xena hits her growth spurt here, and suddenly she’s six feet of muscle, smarts, and beauty. There’s no more standing in the background for her- she steals a room just by being in it. So, she gains a lot of attention from the student population. Everyone wants to date her or be her friend, and while she’s not big on the attention, she accepts some of it. She starts making closer friends, creating her friend group (people like Marcus, Borias and his then girlfriend, some of the Amazons, basically take some of the people from Xena’s past and tentatively put them in this group). 

Now, this is a group of normal teenagers. They make mistakes, they do good things, at this point in their lives they either over think things or don’t think at all, but they’re not bad people. They’re really not. They’re teenagers just trying to get through school. At least, that’s what they are at this point. 

So, Xena creates her little friend group, but she is picky. She’s not going to become friends with the first person who walks up and says hi. That’s not her style. Nor is she one to date random people who just ask her out. At this point in her life, while she has casual flirtations with different members of her group (Borias, Marcus, M’Lila, a couple of the Amazons, etc), she’s more focused on her studies and her training to really date. 

But then she rejects Cortese. And while all the other people she rejected just kind of shrugged and moved on, Cortese decides to get some revenge for her being “such a stuck up bitch.” And he does this by going after Lyceus. 

Because Lyceus is a freshman by now. He’s loving his first semester of high school, has a ton of friends, is even thinking about joining the football team, stuff like that. He’s loving it, and he doesn’t think twice when Cortese invites him to a party. 

Where Cortese gets him flat out _drunk_. Like, absolutely wasted levels of drunk, that boy can barely stand. And then Cortese, knowing that Lyceus would do anything to impress him and the others at the party, gives him the keys to a car. 

He was expecting Lyceus to be pulled over by a cop, to be written up for a DUI and giving with only a permit by himself and be arrested. He wasn’t expecting Lyceus to go off the side of a bridge. 

He’s already gone by the time the police get there, already dead by the time the divers pull him out, still buckled into the car because he couldn’t figure out how to get it undone in his panicked, drunken state. He died, scared and alone, in that dark water, because of what Cortese did. 

And Xena _snaps_. She starts to terrorize the school; again, she’s over six feet of muscle and ten years of training, and she’s smart too, a dangerous combination. She only lashes out at those involved first, catching them off guard and leaving them badly injured when no one could ever see, and when they try to press charges against her, her friends step in and lie. A lot of them don’t like it, but they lie for her, saying that she was with them, studying or playing video games or whatever, so she couldn’t have done it. And when it’s ten different alibis that all pretty much match up against a single accusation, and no physical evidence that it was, in fact, Xena? The charges drop. 

But by the end of the second semester, those who were responsible move away. Their parents transfer them to other schools, and there’s no one left. 

M’Lila, who’s by this time Xena’s steady girlfriend, and has been for a couple of months now, tries to get her to let go. Tries to get her to calm down, to grieve but not let the grief take over any longer. She tries to help Xena the only way she knows how, by trying to help her heal. 

It works, for those few weeks of summer, and Xena and her friends are just wandering around, free from school and worried and just enjoying themselves. She lets go of some of her anger, lets herself grieve in healthy ways, and tries to let go. 

Only then M’Lila goes on vacation with her family, Xena meets Caesar- who goes to a different school- is highly attracted to him, and, making a horrible decision, agrees to meet up with him, thinking that they’re friends and sleeping with him will only be a one-time thing. She talks to M’Lila, and it’s actually M’Lila who brings up the two of them taking a break, at least while she’s away, so they aren’t bogged down while trying to have fun (remember, they’re like, sixteen here). They agree, and Xena goes to the meet up with Caesar. 

Only it’s a set up, and the people Xena drove out of school, Cortese and his friends and their friends, everyone who was at the party, are there. Xena fights well, but she’s badly outnumbered, and goes down. 

They don’t kill her, no. But they do hurt her, badly, leaving her legs and her spirit broken. But just for a moment, until Caesar leans down and whispers to her “You lose.” 

And then she begins to rage against the world as a whole. She has to spend the rest of the summer in the hospital, being visited by her mother and her friends (Toris left for college right after Lyceus died, throwing himself for one last semester into his gen eds to finish them and leave right as summer started. He does blame Xena, a little bit), but that entire time she cultivates her anger. Cultivates her hatred and her disgust and her rage, and when she finally gets out of the hospital, after the surgeries to reset her bones, when she leaves walking on her own but with a staff (she refused a cane) to lean on, she’s new. 

She’s ready to watch the world burn, ready to see it be destroyed, and that desire is only edged on by the physical therapist she has to see three times a week, Alti. Alti, who spends their sessions whispering in her ear that she’ll do great things, that she’ll get her revenge on the ones who did this to her, actively fanning the flames within Xena so that every painful step is fueled by rage and hate and the desire to see those who killed her brother dead, not just punished. 

She enters junior year like this, ready to see everything destroyed. 

Junior year: 

Only, she doesn’t descend as much as she would have, because the school hires a new guidance counselor and tells Xena that, if she wants to graduate, she’ll meet up with her at lunch every day and try to figure this out. 

Lao Ma is a blessing. She looks at Xena, sees the anger and the pain, and offers the words needed to heal it. She dispels everything Alti says to her, tries to get Xena to see the light, tells her that her brother wouldn’t want this, that Xena has such a bright future ahead of her, that to continue into this madness would do nothing but hurt herself. Lao Ma tries to get Xena back, tries to convince her that she could do so much good in the world, that she’s smart and brave and strong and could help those who aren’t, and Lao Ma almost gets through to her. 

Only, a month into school, Lao Ma has to leave. Her son is gravely ill, and while she and her husband can pay for the medicine, the doctor he needs to see is on the other side of the country. So they leave, leaving Xena alone. 

Because M’Lila didn’t come back from vacation, stopped contacting Xena, had turned up dead in an alley with some strange girl she had met while away, so Lao Ma leaving took away the last good influence Xena had. Leaving only Alti. 

Xena breaks up Borias and his girlfriend, seducing him into being with her instead. Because of the guys in her group, he was the best to be by her side to start a gang. 

They- Xena, Borias, their friends that followed them into the madness, the other kids they picked up along the way- start to skip school, start fights, gaining territory around the school and the neighborhoods and the city. Whenever anyone challenges them, they disappear; Xena never had trouble with blood, and when the first was brought to her? When the first member of one of the rival gangs was brought before her, beaten and broken, caught trying to spy on her and her people? 

She slits his throat without a thought, because why should she care?   

Everyone died sometime, and if she was to bring about this death, then the God of Death could thank her for it, and expect some more. 

They’re almost two hundred strong by the end of the year, this strange group of teenagers and young adults somehow so well organized, falling into the ranks under Xena’s command. At seventeen she’s one of the most powerful people in the city, but completely unknown. All anyone else knows is that there’s a new gang, a new, powerful, terrifying gang in the city, and any who crosses them turns up dead somewhere with an ‘X’ carved over their heart. 

Nothing ever gets traced back to her. And while her underlings run the gang, while she leaves her people to get a revenue flow started and boarders figured out (she’s not strong enough to control the whole city, not yet, but soon), she continues to go to school. 

Not often. She skips more than she doesn’t, but she’s there for tests and exams, she turns in her essays when they’re due, and she keeps good grades. Because she’s smart, and if she can say that she was in the middle of class, where her teachers and her classmates were watching her give a presentation on the cellular structure of a pine tree, how could she ever have been involved with a robbery that was taking place on the other side of town? 

She still goes to see Alti. Her legs have healed nicely, and she only keeps the staff because she’s used to its weight in her hands, but still she goes. Goes and listens to what Alti has to say, continues to fall into her path of darkness, because at least the darkness makes sense in comparison to the blinding of the light. 

But then she ends up pregnant, and a few months later Borias dies in a turf war, shot through the eye when someone brought a gun to a knife fight, leaving her alone. 

She ends junior year with great grades, but the likelihood of her graduating small since she missed so many days. Seven months pregnant when the semester ends (not that anyone knew. No, she kept it a secret, only her closest friends knowing, only them helping. Not even Cyrene knew, because she stopped going home a long while ago), she gives birth over the summer. She refuses to go to a hospital, instead giving birth in her rooms at the gang’s headquarters, an old building she bought after the gang had enough money. It was a place they could talk, plan, hide out if the flames got a little too high, and it became the place she gave birth to her son, only the failed out nursing student Satrina by her side to help. 

She holds him for an hour. For a single hour, she holds him and nurses him, trying to think of a way she could maybe make this work. A single mother, seventeen and head of the strongest gang in the city, in way too deep with the water over her head, but still she tried to think of a way, someway, that she could make it work. 

The second hour of his life, Xena finds herself on the steps of a church. She hurts, physically and mentally, as she knocked on the door. The priest who answers is gruff, missing an eye, but his face softens as he sees her. She refuses to come in when he offers (who is she, to enter any kind of holy place, of any religion, dedicated to any god, after everything she’s done?), instead only holding out her son for him to take. 

When he asks what the boy’s name is, all Xena says is “Solan” before leaving him behind. 

She rests for a week, claiming the flu had taken her down, while she recovers from giving birth and her heartache. While she regains her strength, regains her flame (a bit smaller now, not quite as hot, but still enough to drive her), and gets back on her feet. 

As she gets ready to continue her takeover of the city.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN 1: So I honestly have lost all control of this fic, I really have. I’m just letting the fingers fly, I’m not questioning anything, and I’m letting this weird high school/gang leader/vigilante justice au play out as it will. Who knows what the hell is going to happen, because I sure don’t. So this is an adventure we’re taking together. I hope you guys enjoy, and if you have any idea what’s going on, let me know please, cause I would like to know.
> 
> AN 2: Also, I didn't realize this would post on Thanksgiving, so Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope you all enjoy! 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Xena.

First Senior year:

Xena got caught. 

It’s not for anything major- she was trespassing, heading home after a victory over one of the last few gangs standing up to her, their people well whipped and their territory now hers. She had gotten out relatively unscathed- a few cuts here and there, but nothing that some neosporin couldn’t take care of. Deciding to take the quick route home, she jumped a fence. 

And was caught by the head of security for the facility, an older man named Ares who quickly took an interest. 

He’d been a police officer once, head of the station, in line to become Chief of Police before a bullet ruined his shoulder and he’d been forced to retire. Since then, he’d started his own security firm, hiring out well trained individuals to different companies to protect their interests. And his pockets, since the men and women he hired out were also generally very good at technology, gathering more than a few secrets to sell to interested parties. 

He took a look at Xena and just knew. He knew she was the one leading the gang everyone was terrified of, the one the police had been trying to find and failed to do for years now, knew that she was the one he wanted to keep close, for it would be that much easier to help himself if he did. 

They start a quite rewarding partnership. She sends her people to break into the companies who hadn’t hired any of his own, hitting them again and again until they finally cave. Until they hire his people for protection, after which the break ins stop. Soon, he has people everywhere, gathering information, making him that much stronger, all while he gets to get comfortable by the side of the leader of the gang ruling the city. 

Because Xena does it. She finally takes over, finally crushes the last of the resistance against her, and with her people on every street, free to walk as they please, she’s done. 

She has her city, has the start of her empire at just shy of eighteen years old, and she’s won. 

Only things begin to get tricky. Because her people are used to action, used to tearing into other people’s throats, and with no one to bite? They begin to bite each other. 

She tries to keep control, and for the most part she’s able- she’s still the strongest of them all, can still take a dozen of them at once, so they all still obey. And ever since she started daring Marcus, the most likeable of her central group, people have calmed. He’s good at organizing, getting trouble makers put to work and away from each other. But still it’s hard. It’s hard work, keeping her people in line, keeping them from destroying everything she had worked so hard to create, becoming a fulltime job. 

She ignores school, ignores the phone calls and the threats that she won’t graduate, until, finally, she’s informed that she’s no longer a student. If she wishes to register for next year, she can, but she has been withdrawn from the school and would be ineligible for graduation for good. 

It hurts, slightly, but she barely remembers that it did soon after, because she has much bigger problems to worry about. 

Because Hercules and his little friend Iolaus, boys she had known in school- a year older, kind, ones that had offered comfort after Lyceus had died but had never been one of her friends- had decided to put an end to this. 

They started by jumping her people, catching them in the middle of a crime and turning them over to the police, filing reports and making sure they were locked away. Not that they stayed in long- the gang had money for this very reason, to get people out who had gotten thrown in, but still. It was an annoyance, something that needed to be taken care of, but nothing more. 

Until she finds herself staring them down one day, the two of them somehow having broken into her rooms, just waiting for her to finish in the shower. 

“There’s nothing linking you to any of this,” Hercules pointed out carefully, knowing of her reputation. He had been trying to hunt her down for months now, and, indeed, there was literally nothing. No DNA, no fingerprints, hell, only three people knew her real name or what she even really looked like. Everyone else in her organization only knew her as the Destroyer of Nations, only got their orders from one of her three generals, and no one had the guts to try to turn her in. No one. “You can walk away from this, let it all fall apart, and you’d be free. You could easily do that, Xena.” 

He kept talking, about how her smarts and her strength and her bravery could help so many people, unknowingly echoing everything Lao Ma had said, all those years ago. Picking at the little pieces of light he could see shining through the darkness inside of her. Trying to get her to turn, to help tear down the organization she herself had built, because it would be the right thing to do. 

She threw them out her window and went about getting dressed, because she had a meeting. 

But a few days later, her mind still twirling with what Hercules had said, Xena showed a single moment of weakness. 

And the jackals struck. 

They overthrew her, beat her, dozens upon dozens of her people turning on her, too many for her to fight. They took her down, tossed her into the streets, left her practically for dead. Her closest people took over- Darfus, Callisto, and Draco, the three others then Marcus she had let get close to her- tearing apart the empire she herself had built, returning the city into a squabbling group of almost mercenaries instead of a powerhouse that could have run the entire place. 

They made her a promise, though, to let her go. If she lived, if she stayed out of her way, the three of them would let her go back to her little life. She could go to school, could leave the city, could stay there for the rest of her life and watch as things fell apart, none of them cared. They just wanted her gone. 

And to prove that they would keep her secret, as she laid there, once again broken and dying, they sent Marcus out with her. Because if only the three of them knew, if there was no fourth figure to play with their game, she had to trust that they’d do so. 

Hercules and Iolaus found them, close to death but still breathing, and got them to a hospital, where for months they stayed, their medical bills paid for by an unknown donor, as they healed. As they talked and came to terms with the change in their lives, with what they had done, with the evils they had committed and the darkness they had allowed themselves to follow. 

They’re listed as victims of the gang, and with no clear connection to it, they’re free.

Cyrene comes to visit after a while, after she finds out where Xena’s being held, comes and sees her. They spend a long time talking- not about what Xena had been doing, because Cyrene had guessed that a long time ago. The gang didn’t show up until after Lyceus had died, until after Xena had sunk into her anger, and Cyrene had just guessed. No, they didn’t talk about the past, though Xena did tell her about her grandson, about the blue eyed, blonde little boy who would be almost one by now. Instead they talked about the future. 

Xena moves back home, when she’s well enough to leave the hospital. It took a while, and she had to wait until the next year began, but Cyrene helped her re-enroll at the school, so she could take her final year and graduate. Marcus too, when his family refused to take him back; Cyrene had an empty bedroom, and she offered to him, offered to help him back on his feet and the straight and narrow. 

They broke up, Xena and Marcus. They still loved each other, but the path to the light was a long and lonely one, one they had to both walk alone. It helped, knowing they were both on the same path, but redemption was a far off goal they couldn’t reach together. 

Hercules and Iolaus come to visit often. They ask for information, little bits at a time, so they can continue their work. Xena helps as much as she can- she knew everything, and while she couldn’t just drop on them the biggest of her secrets, she could little bits. Names of people they would have found anyway, hide outs they would have eventually stumbled upon, little things to speed up their process. 

But most she kept for herself, because she had her own cleaning up to do. 

The police called her a vigilante, the people called her a hero, and those who were scared of her just called her the Warrior Princess, the only name they knew her by. Lao Ma had used it once, all that time ago, had said with her skills she could be a warrior for those who needed one and a diplomat, could bring about more change as a warrior princess then as an angry teenager, and that name had stuck. So she took it. Took it and used it and, whenever someone asked for her name, asked who she was as she struck them down, that was what she gave. 

If she wanted to make things right again, Xena had to clean up her own mess. And she was. 

Second Senior year, Part 1:

Starting school was hard. Rumors had flown while she was gone, though thankfully her mother had covered up for her. An illness that had left her weak and stuck at home, too ill to come to school or even make up the assignments while in bed. It’s an easy lie, one she accepts with a casual shrug before continuing on in the conversation. 

It’s like freshman year all over again. She’s mainly left to herself- her reputation from before still followed her, and even though nothing had ever been proven, no charges had ever been placed against her, the entire school still remembered the bloody faces of their peers, the ones that had dared to cross Xena, and so they stayed away. Stayed away and let her do her own thing, be her own person, get her classwork done at lunch and in the library after school before heading home so she could train and, when it became dark, go on the hunt. She still fit in when she wanted to, could still jump from group to group with that casual ease she’d always had, but she did it less than she once had.

These were children, and although she was their same age she had stopped being a child so long ago. When she had first lost herself to her grief. When she first started thinking of people in terms of acceptable causalities instead of actual humans. When she first raised her fist against those responsible for her brother’s death, when she first slit the throat of an enemy informant- she stopped being a child a long time ago. 

So did Marcus, and having him there helped. They were friends, had fought the same battles and lost the same war, and even though they were no longer together, it helped. Helped her get through the days and her classes, and helped to keep herself separate from those who didn’t deserve to have her near. 

Except, in her AP English class, there was someone she didn’t want to stay separate from. Someone she wanted to be near, despite the taint that clung to her skin and the blood that still lingered under her fingernails.

The cute little strawberry blonde who had been assigned her partner for the literary studies project due at the end of the semester, who had transferred in for her senior year, who had no idea who Xena was or what she had done and just smiled as she introduced herself as ‘Gabrielle.’ 

It was hard, not to let herself be drawn in, not to fall for that gentle smile, to keep the distance Xena knew Gabrielle deserved. Because she was innocent, while Xena had already cast herself into the depths of the dark, and how did she deserve that? Even if Gabrielle’s attraction was clear, had been made clear day one and continued to be made clear as they continued through the semester, an attraction Xena herself shared, how could she act on it? 

She didn’t. She refused to act on the feelings she felt growing for Gabrielle, refused to accept her as part of her life despite how much her heart ached for her, and tried to keep them separated. But she was weak, and couldn’t keep Gabrielle out of her life as much as she wanted, couldn’t force herself to push Gabrielle away entirely, and so she lived within this middling realm that was just sheer pain. 

She threw herself into her fighting, threw herself into cleaning up her mess, destroying the remains of the organization she herself had built, all to make sure it would all end well. 

Either she would finish her mission, find redemption for her crimes by ending the ones still going on, or she would die trying. And Gabrielle didn’t deserve to be part of that. 

So she kept her distance, allowing their friendship if nothing more, and spent her nights hunting. Taking down the legs of the organization, for even if the heads still existed for now, without anything else they were useless. It helped that they were destroying each other as well- every day the news brought in more stories of murders and break-ins and just plain destruction, the three fractions imploding upon themselves to create a fractured mess. The police were picking up some, rounding up those who had defected for a chance at safety, though they were the lowest of the organization, the toes. 

She was waiting for the heads to cave in before she went after them herself, just waiting for the inevitable fall of those who knew who she was so she could end this. 

It was Darfus who fell first- he’d never been strong, only holding the illusion of strength, and trying to control a third of the city on his own? By himself? It’d been an impossible task from the very beginning, and so she’d focused on him first. Focused on his men, on his organizations, pulling out the rug beneath his feet as he started to fall. 

And she was there to watch as he fell, figuratively and literally, falling from the top story of his building onto the concrete below. She tried to stop him, tried to pull him back from the edge, but he had just screamed, screamed about Draco and Callisto turning on him, on them just waiting to end him, so he would end himself first. 

Draco was next on her list, thought she stepped back for a time. She knew Draco, knew how he worked, and Darfus’ end would put him on high alert, leaving her unable to even think about getting close. And Callisto would ride his ass for a while- she had only joined because she had hated them, had hated Xena and hated everyone close to her, and had joined to gain power. Something Xena had known, and kept her close because of that, because someone always striving for power was good to keep close, at least until they tried to make their mark. But with her power Callisto would only thirst for more, and that would keep Draco on his toes, and he her. 

She still hunted, still went out and tracked down the underlings, turning them over to Hercules and Iolaus and the few other officers she had come to ‘trust’ that she knew would do the right thing with them, but she kept to the lower levels of each organization, picking them off one by one to undermine them. But, at Marcus’ suggestion, she let herself rest. 

“We’ve fucked up, Xena,” Marcus said one night, shaking his head as they sat on the roof, staring up at the stars. “ _We’re_ fucked up, but still. You can turn yourself around- you are turning things around, trying to make things right. You’re still a good person, Xena, and you deserve to smile and be happy. Maybe with that cute English partner of yours?” 

The sly grin he shot her almost had her pushing him off the roof, rolling her eyes and shaking her head as he pestered her, trying to get her to admit how she felt about Gabrielle. But she restrained herself, and after a few moments he fell silent, looking at her curiously. With his head tilted, an eyebrow raised, just waiting for her to respond. 

A response she never gave, because there was nothing to say. She liked Gabrielle, liked her a lot, that much was clear, and she didn’t need to confirm it for him to know it was true. But…

“You know why that wouldn’t work, Marcus,” Xena said, shaking her head. “You know exactly why.” 

And he did, but still he just gave her that look of his and shook his head, because he also knew that she was weak. She wouldn’t let herself be happy, not when there was still so much to pay for, even if happiness was within her grasp, but she also wouldn’t cut ties with her. They would hover on the edge of friendship and something more, a hovering that was plain for anyone to see, but wouldn’t chose a side. 

They spent more time together, she and Gabrielle, using the project they had finished the first couple of weeks as an excuse to continue to see each other, to spend time together in the library or at each other’s houses, though Xena was always care whenever she left to begin her nightly hunt to start it far away, on the other side of the city from where she had left Gabrielle, even if closer targets presented themselves. So she could make sure her movements couldn’t be tracked to the girl, couldn’t be traced back to anything that could lead even close to her. 

Gabrielle finding out about her, about who she was and what she had done, became her greatest fear, her deepest terror, and so she did everything she could to protect her.

It wasn’t enough, on either fronts, protecting her heart or protecting her physically, because right after finals (after a conversation with Marcus, apparently, something Xena would have to kill him for later), Gabrielle had walked over to her with a serious look on her face and stated, quite clearly, that now the semester was done, there was no reason for them not to date. That Marcus had explained everything, that Xena didn’t date project partners in case they broke up and jeopardized their grades, but now that it was done, and they had no classes the next semester, they could be together. 

She had continued babbling on for a couple of minutes before Xena had pulled her into a kiss, both to quiet her and the throbbing in her heart, though she reminded herself to, again, kill Marcus later for playing the role of her wingman without her permission (despite how utterly wonderful the results of his actions were). 

And it wasn’t enough, on either fronts, protecting her heart or protecting her physically, because a few days later, Gabrielle disappeared.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Ok, so. This was going to be a three part fic, but this is already over 3.7K words, and I have no clue how the rest of this is going to go. So, it will be in four parts, though how long the fourth part will be, I do not know. It might be quick, it might be super long, there might even be a fifth part thrown in. Who knows, because I don’t. Anyway, I hope you guys all enjoy! 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Xena.

She was a fool, an old damned fool, because she should have known. She should have known that her leaving the gang would come with conditions, that her interfering with the businesses and people of the three would be punished, that they would come for her and hit her where it hurt the most. She should have realized it, should have known that this would happen, but she didn’t. Caught up in her ideals and goals for redemption, she had just thought she’d be free to do as she pleased. Free to take them out with minimal resistance, make up for her crimes, to one day find the redemption she craved. 

But she only thought that because she was a fool, and now Gabrielle was paying for it. 

It was Draco who had taken her-after Durfus’ fall, after examining the rumors that had swarmed about the Warrior Princess after his death and his people being arrested, Draco had started keeping closer eyes on her. 

And she’d slipped up. Someone had seen her, had gotten a description, had gone straight to Draco and reported what they had seen, and Draco had known. Had recognized who she was, and started looking for a weak spot he could use against her. 

And he’d found Gabrielle, had found the perfect piece of leverage to use against her, and took her. 

He left a note for her to find, slipped into her locker, detailing when and where to meet so they could have their little ‘discussion.’ He promised Gabrielle was unharmed, that the secret of who she was was still safe, but they needed to meet, face to face, to work things out. 

Alone. Unarmed. Just to talk. 

Xena didn’t trust him a single bit, but what other choice did she have? 

Many. 

He was waiting for her when she arrived, leaning back in his desk chair, Gabrielle settled in his lap. Her hands had been tied together, a piece of tape placed over her mouth to keep her from speaking, but otherwise she seemed ok. Scared, her eyes welling up with tears when Xena came into the room, visibly trembling, but otherwise she seemed ok. 

Good. Because otherwise Draco would have been dead the moment she entered, instead of dying when she went to leave. Because he’d become a threat, more of one then he already was, and she was putting an end to him tonight. 

After she had Gabrielle. 

“I’m sorry I had to involve your little girlfriend, Xena,” Draco said slowly, his hand coming up to rest on Gabrielle’s hip; though his smile didn’t match the seriousness of his tone when Xena’s glare deepened, turning murderous as she stared at his hand. “But you’ve been bad. What were the terms we laid out? Do you remember?”

“Stay out of your way, and you stay out of mine.” She spoke through clenched teeth, never taking her gaze away from Gabrielle, watching as confusion split the fear as she listened to Xena speak. “Guess I just couldn’t stay away from the game.” 

“Well you should,” Draco said, his voice sharp. “You did me a favor, getting rid of Darcus the way you did,” he added a moment later, his voice low. “But you’re stepping on my land, messing with my people, and I can’t have that going on, Xena. Part of me thinks I should keep this little cuties for myself,” he continue, a leer passing across his face as he glanced down at Gabrielle, bending over slightly to place a kiss on her cheek- a move he would pay for, Xena swore to herself as her hands clenched into fists. “But,” Draco said after a moment, pushing Gabrielle off his lap and towards Xena, watching as the girl stumbled into Xena’s arms, “as a thank you for Darcus, I’ll leave her with you. This is a warning, Xena.” His tone was sharp. “I won’t give you another.” 

Xena barely paid attention to him as she caught Gabrielle, as she held her close in her arms and tried to shush the pained, panicked noised coming from her, tried to stop the stream of tears trickling down her cheeks and the trembling that shook her entire being. Gently pulling the tape from her mouth, Xena held her close, ducking her head to whisper in her ear. 

“Do you trust me?” 

“Right now, yes, but we’re talking about this later.”

“Then whatever you do, don’t look.”  

“My men will escort you out,” Draco said casually, waving his hand as if to dismiss them. “Don’t worry- I kept my promise, and none of them know who you are. But they will, if you ever cross me agai-“ 

He never finished his sentence as Xena’s knife sprouted from his neck, the knife his men should have taken from her- and would have, if she hadn’t taken care of them on her way in. Glancing down, making sure Gabrielle’s face was still pressed hard against her neck, blocking out the grisly sight before them, Xena wrapped her other around Gabrielle and began to lead her out. 

“Don’t look,” Xena whispered as they walked out of the room, walked past the trail of bodies she had left in her wake, keeping her arms wrapped protectively around her, making sure Gabrielle wouldn’t see the sheer amount of death that painted the walls and the floor, that covered the extra pair of clothing Gabrielle didn’t know Xena had changed out of so she wouldn’t walk in cloaked in blood. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Xena offered Marcus a grim smile as she slowly pulled away from Gabrielle, gently disengaging the vice-like grip Gabrielle had on her to hand her over to him. 

“I’ll be right back,” Xena said, placing a quick, calming kiss on her forehead, nodding thankfully at Marcus as he gathered Gabrielle in his arms, offering her the support she needed. “I promise. I just need to take care of a few things.” 

Gabrielle, stunned, just nodded and let herself be led away, led away and soothed as Marcus talked, making ridiculous offers of ice cream and a book store and puppies to try and get her to stop crying as he led her away from the building. 

Xena was glad she had killed the bastards, and she was glad for what she was going to do now. 

It didn’t take her long to gather up her weapons, her knives and guns and silencers, what she had gathered over the months she had been gone from the gang, what she’d been using to complete her job of fixing her home, cleaning her streets, redeeming herself. Didn’t take long to gather the clothes she had worn in, to settle them in a pile to burn, to douse the entire place top to bottom in lighter fluid, to pull out a couple of teeth from each body so they wouldn’t be identified. 

Within just a few minutes, everything was on fire, and this far out of town, in the middle of nowhere, in a crappy little office building- the start of a new business area that had never been finished- that had been bought by the gang ages ago after the original owners had abandoned it? The call wouldn’t be made to the station for a good long while, leaving the police nothing to go on when they got there. 

Gabrielle was calm when she slid into the back of the car next to her, pulling her into her side and nodding at Marcus to drive. She was still shaking, but at least she had stopped crying. 

The flames from the building were out of sight by the time Gabrielle found her voice again, and this time all the normally talkative young woman could say was “Explain.” 

So she did. She started back when she was a child, before this all began, back when Lyceus was alive and well and her biggest worry was whether she would do well on her math test. She laid out for Gabrielle the path her fall had taken- her rage, her revenge, her hate and loathing for the world itself; her child, her organization, her fall; the little things she was trying to do now to gain the redemption she didn’t deserve, the real reason she had kept her distance the entire semester, why it was Draco had grabbed her- Xena told her everything, all while Marcus drove through the city, taking backstreets and side roads and out of the ways paths, as if he realized that, when they stopped, whatever spell had been cast over Gabrielle that was letting her listen would fade and end and she would leave. 

She would leave and never look back, the moment she got out of the car, and Xena knew this. She knew Gabrielle would be nothing more than another liability, another person who knew her name, but she couldn’t care. She told her everything, everything she had to tell, because Gabrielle deserved to know, and how could Xena keep such a secret from her? 

But when the car finally pulled to a stop, when Xena’s tale had ended, catching up to what she had just done in the gang’s office, instead of leaving, instead of doing the smart thing and running for her life, Gabrielle just took a deep breath and said “What can I do to help?” 

Both Xena and Marcus tried to deny her at first, tried to push her away (even though he had played wingman to get Xena to smile, he had never even thought for a moment that Gabrielle would get caught up in their world. And the last thing Xena wanted was her near them; that kiss had been a mistake, a moment of weakness, and if she allowed herself to follow it down the waiting rabbit hole Gabrielle wouldn’t only end up hurt. She’d end up dead, and out of all the deaths she had experienced, out of all the heartbreak she had lived through, Xena wasn’t sure she could live through that).

But Gabrielle was Gabrielle, and she decided she wasn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer. She was already part of this, and she wasn’t about to let her friends (because for some reason she did consider them friends) go through this alone. 

So she showed up at Xena’s house one night a week after the two of them had tried to shut her out, somehow making it there before Xena and Marcus had been able to get home themselves, and wove this story to Cyrene about being Xena’s girlfriend and Xena training her how to fight so she could protect herself in this crazy world of theirs. 

And with how excited Cyrene was that she was dating someone and had taken on her first student (Cyrene didn’t need to know about the others Xena had trained over the years, the ones she had trained to stab and shoot and poison, the ones she had trained to kill in a dozen different ways), how could Xena say no? She could have, could have pulled Gabrielle away, told her to go home, back to the safe little life she’d had before she’d gotten caught up in Xena’s mess. She easily could have, but she didn’t. 

She started her on the staff- an easy weapon to have on you, since technology had made metal ones that folded and, while not as thick and heavy as a good wooden stick, still got the job done, all without being fatal. It could be, easily. A hard enough hit to the head or the spine, or even a quick _thwack_ to the throat, and it could be over. But it was harmless enough, in Gabrielle’s hands, and with Xena’s peaceful training, it stayed that way. 

She was a quick study, and in a few weeks Gabrielle could hold her own, could disarm a series of weapons from an attacker’s hands without hurting herself or anyone else, and that was something Xena was proud of. She probably would have learned sooner if they had been able to dedicated themselves fully to her training (practice could easily dissolve into kissing, Xena had learned, and even then, many nights she didn’t have time. Callisto had gone quiet after Draco’s demise, pulling her men in, waiting silently in the dark; most likely for her guard to drop so Callisto could make her move, but Xena had refused. She still hunted, and though most of her hunts had turned up empty, some had been fruitful. Had been able to start giving her the leads Xena needed to bring down Calisto, to finally end what she had begun all those years ago), but even still, her progress had been enough. 

And even though Xena refused point blank to let her take to the streets, to let her go on her hunts with her, Gabrielle still found ways to help- compiling their notes, following information that didn’t take a few missing fingernails to find, pulling together the tidbits Xena fed to her to go on her own chases throughout the city to figure out what they needed. 

With Callisto hiding behind her wall, keeping her men close as she waited for the moment to strike, it was Gabrielle who finally found her. It took most of the semester, the three of them working together after school and connecting dots between essays, but it was Gabrielle who figured out where the rat was hiding, giving Xena what she needed to finally, _finally_ , end this. 

And Callisto somehow knew. A month before finals, before Xena was finally going to graduate and get out of that school, Callisto somehow sent her a letter. It was waiting on her bed when she got home, unmarked but obvious who it was from by its very existence. And it made her an offer. 

Callisto and Ares had teamed up, picking up where Xena’s old deal had left off- her people would break into companies until they hired from him and he would split the profits, making them both rich. A financial engagement she wanted to continue, that would fail if Xena continued to step on people’s toes. So Callisto made her an offer- with the other two gone, there could finally be peace, just like there had been under Xena before she had fallen. There would be no more fights, no more turf wars, no more nasty little arguments that only ended in split blood staining the streets. There would be peace, and Callisto would make sure of it. And if Xena stayed away, if Xena lived her little life with her little girlfriend, graduated high school and made something of herself that wasn’t involved with the gang; if Xena gave up her quest for redemption and found a peaceful way to live her life that didn’t involve stopping Callisto, Callisto would let her live it. 

There would be no more threats, no more worries, nothing that Xena ever had to worry about again. She could be at peace. 

She was tempted to take it, Xena couldn’t lie- she could stop this, put an end to the constant hunts and tight walking routine her life had become. She could just walk away, go away somewhere to college, maybe to the same one Gabrielle had gotten accepted into, and just leave. Or she could start up her father’s training business again with Marcus and maybe Gabrielle as teachers, going somewhere larger, more dangerous, where the need to defend one’s self was greater and there would be more clients for her to take on. Or she could do anything, anywhere, even stay in the city if she wanted to, she just had to give it up. Give up the fight and find some other way to lighten the darkness on her soul. 

For an hour after she received the offer, she considered it. Xena thought about it, tried to imagine what that kind of life would be like, to truly go back to who she used to be, before her heart had followed the path of rage and revenge. Tried to imagine her life with Gabrielle, the two of them living their lives somewhere safe. Seeing Marcus at work, the two of them using their unique knowledge to train those who couldn’t protect themselves until they could. Making friends, getting back fully on good terms with Cyrene, who had been distant even if she was loving, making something of who she was. 

Maybe find Solan, bring him home if that was still a possibility, create a family- a real family, not the twisted version of one her gang had been, brought together only out of greed and hate instead of something real- she could be proud of. 

By hour two she had set the offer on fire, had destroyed its existence, and continued her plans for finally ending this. 

Because there was no life if this existed, if she left behind this kind of legacy. It was already going to haunt her- the things she had done, the people she had hurt, the darkness she had let into the world- but to leave it unresolved, to leave it alive and well? That would destroy her, consume her, and if she ever wanted any kind of future with anyone, it needed to end. 

For another week she planned, trained and gathered the resources she needed, preparing herself for the end she was sure she would meet. Because to walk into the gang’s best fortified hide out, one she had designed herself, into a viper’s nest crawling with over two hundred men and women to finally cut off the head? She’d be surprised if she survived; it was much more likely she would die long before she found Callisto, but she had to try. 

So she planned, and the night before she began, she said her goodbyes. 

Cyrene was the easiest. As if she had already resigned herself to losing another child, all she could do was give Xena a weak smile when she came to her, kneeling before where Cyrene sat, her silence telling her everything she needed to know. All Cyrene could do, all she could bring herself to do, was lean forward and place a kiss on Xena’s forehead and whisper, quietly, a plea for her to come home. A broken plea, a prayer made to the gods as much as to Xena, before Cyrene quickly rose from the chair and turned away. 

Xena didn’t bother to wipe away the tears that had fallen onto her forehead, allowing them to anoint her as she went about preparing for her end.  

Marcus was easy as well, though in his own way, quite hard. He had offered to try and help her, try to figure out a way for him to create a distraction so she could go directly after Callisto- once the head was cut, the rest of the organization would fall. He had been trying to help ever since she had started this crusade, ever since she had begun her journey: get away cars, helping with clean up, his own soul already so much lighter than her own that it didn’t take much for him to clean what little stain had appeared. He hadn’t been that involved in the workings of the gang, instead just one of the advisors that pointed out a flaw in a plan whenever one arose. 

And because of that she refused him- he had been in his fair share of fights, had landed a blow wrong that ended someone’s life, but he was lighter than she was. His sins weighed lesser on his shoulders, for though they were many they were small, and he would find his redemption through a good life. So she had been refusing him ever since, and had continued to refuse him, because to put him in danger like that, for a last ditch effort to try and safe herself and bring about the ruin of her creation? She couldn’t live with herself if something happened to him. 

So, when he tried again, tried to bully his way into her plans, all Xena did was pull him into a hug, an almost desperate grip as she begged him to live a good life, to look after her mother and Gabrielle, to take care of himself the way he had taken care of her. She thanked him for his friendship and his love, for his help and his companionship, and then turned him away. 

She would always love him, he would always be her best friend, and because of that she let him go. 

Hercules, Iolaus, those two weren’t even proper goodbyes, not really. A note left for them where they would find it, eventually, one day, thanking them for their help- even though they would say they had done little, they had helped her onto the path she needed, and so she thanked them for it. 

But Gabrielle? Gabrielle was the hardest.

Xena had been prepared for everyone else, had steeled her heart against whatever they would try to do to bring her back, to keep her from going, to try and find some other plan that wouldn’t result in her death but also wouldn’t end this. But the look on Gabrielle’s face when she opened the door, when she took in the bag Xena was carrying and the hardness in her eyes, and it was almost too much for her. 

Almost too much when Gabrielle stepped forward into a hug, wrapping her arms tight around her, as if her hold could keep her. Almost too much when Gabrielle stood on the tips of her toes to kiss her, as if her lips could trap her. Almost too much when Gabrielle took her hands and led her into the empty house, into her room, as if her invitation of spending the night and the rest of forever together could tempt her into staying. 

It was almost too much when Gabrielle curled closer into her side a few hours later, happily asleep in the small delusion that she had swayed Xena’s path, turned her towards something else that wouldn’t end in blood. It was almost too much, but still Xena stole one last kiss before she slid from her bed, before she redressed herself, before she left to go hunt down Callisto.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Finally, we’ve reached the last chapter of this strange tale. I hope you all enjoyed it!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Xena.

Part of her wished she had stayed in Gabrielle’s bed, had taken Callisto up on her offer of safety, because at least then she would have lived. Lived and been able to keep on living, making up for her past crimes and mistakes through a long life spent dedicated to good. But instead she was going to die like this, kneeling before Callisto, barely able to see the blonde devil for the blood in her eyes that kept trickling from the head wound that had finally taken her down. She was going to die and end up a less then pretty corpse in some hole, miles away from her home and the people she loved- a fact she had accepted before going on this final hunt, but still a fact that stung. 

The other part was the one the curled her lips up into a sneer as, finally, she blinked away the blood and looked Callisto in the face, her own wounds and the fact that most of her men had died trying to take her down a comfort. She hadn’t been able to finish them, hadn’t been able to end Callisto, but she had dealt a strong blow, one she wasn’t sure the organization would ever recover from, and that? That was something she could at least die proud of. 

“I gave you every chance, Xena,” Callisto finally said after a few minutes of examining her, after her man had finished reading through his report on their causalities- most of the men who had been at the safe house, which had been almost all of them, were either dead or badly injured. Their recovery was suspect, something none of them would be able to predict with any measure of surety, and most likely they would have to rebuild from scratch with just a few handful of men behind them. 

Not as much damage as Xena would have liked, but it had been the best she could do. The best she could do with her guns and her knives, the best she could do while avoiding the series of traps that blocked her path (known only because she herself had created them), the best she could do alone. Had she had her own people, this would have ended by now; but she was alone, and so she had failed. 

Not that it felt like a failure, no, because even though Callisto would live, she would never be able to rebuild like Xena had. Xena had built their organization brick by brick, had broken her teeth biting through the steel bars that had barred her path to the top, to control of the city, and even after she’d been forced out, it had still been her own success that the others, that Durfus and Draco and Callisto had been living off of. They had just followed her lead, and the idea that one of them would be able to replicate the success she had had?

It was laughable, and Xena knew it. Even if she herself wasn’t the one to bring Callisto down, it wouldn’t be long before the rest of everything tumbled around her, burying her under the rubble. 

So Xena smiled and bared her teeth as Callisto began pacing before her, muttering angrily as she came to the same realization Xena had herself. 

“I gave you every chance to be happy and _normal_ , Xena,” Callisto said again, her fingers flexing in anger, as if they wanted to wrap around her neck and she was only just holding herself back out of principle. “I gave you the chance to walk away, to live a life with your little slut- what’s her name again? Gabrielle?” 

Callisto laughed as Xena growled, a sound cut off as one of Callisto’s men’s boots met her side, hitting one of the ribs Xena was sure was already broken. Her vision blackened at the edges, made worst as she tried to breathe through the pain and her lungs pressed against the bone, but still she remained upright. Upright and glaring at Callisto for daring to speak Gabrielle’s name. 

“You could have been at peace, but you decided bloodshed was to be your legacy instead.” Callisto paused in her pacing at that, turning to face her desk and the impressive collection of knives that was laid across it. “Before I kill you, Xena,” she continued, “I have to know: why? Why didn’t you take me up on it? Why couldn’t you just walk away?” Picking up one of the knives, Callisto turned and kneeled before Xena, lightly tracing the blade along her cheek, a small dribble of blood following its path. “I gave you the chance for everything, and you said ‘no.’ Why?” 

And again Xena just smiled, because they both knew. They both knew that there was never any way Xena would have taken the offer, just like they both knew there was never any chance that she wouldn’t try to end this. Because she was Xena, had taken up the moniker of ‘Warrior Princess’ to spite the three who had destroyed her, and she would never give up her twisted revenge mixed with redemption path she had decided to travel. Even if it meant giving up her happiness, her love, it would mean, in the end, that she would still win. Because even if she didn’t win alive, she ended it. 

So Xena smiled and gave no response, because Callisto already knew and hated her for it. 

“I could keep you alive, you know,” Callisto said softly, almost too softly for her men to hear. “I could keep you alive for years, spend the rest of your days playing with you, watching you wilt under my oh so tender care…” She drew the knife down Xena’s other cheek, creating a parallel line of blood that dripped to her jaw and onto the shirt below. “I’d bring in your mother first, have you watch as I carved her up like a pig. Then Marcus, maybe your brother if I could get the time to find him. One by one, bring before you everyone you’ve ever loved, make you watch them squeal and beg for their lives. Only to end them before your very eyes. And I would end with your precious Gabrielle. Let you watch as the life drained from her, let her know that it’s your fault that she’s dying, making sure she’s fully aware of that little fact before she meets her end. She’d curse you in hell, I suppose. Though then, since I supposed you’d be thoroughly broken, you’d be quick on her heels. Maybe even quick enough to ask for forgiveness.” 

She stood when she was finished with her little hypothetical, her head tilted innocently as she took in the barely restrained rage in Xena’s eyes, only the pain of her broken body and the desire to avoid more keeping her still. Callisto smiled at the sight, before giving a little shrug and shaking her head, placing the knife she had been using down to pick up another. Another that she held loosely in her hand as she moved behind Xena, grabbing her by her hair to force her head back, back far enough to bare her throat so the blade could be pressed against it. 

“But knowing you, you’re even more dangerous when you are broken. When you have little to live for, you find something so you will. A cause, a glimmer of hope: if I were to keep you alive, it would come back and bite me in the ass. So, Xena, I guess this is goodb-“ 

She stopped and stumbled as the entire building _shook_ , giving Xena the chance she needed. The chance to slip out of Callisto’s loosened grasp, the chance to roll away from her and her men, the chance to grab one of the knives Callisto had left lying on her desk and raise it, ready to drive it home. Ready to drive the knife into a vein or her eye or her heart, something weak and vulnerable and guaranteeing death, ready to finally put an end to her-

Only to find herself stumbling as well as the building shook again, as the walls began to tremble and the ceiling began to hit the floor around them, sending the men scattering as they ran for their lives. 

“ _No_!” Callisto screamed, watching in horror as her world began to literally fall apart, the building and her organization crumbling around her. Turning to face Xena, she raised her knife, ready to fight-

Only to sink to her knees as she found Xena had done the same, that Xena had recovered quicker than her after the initial tremor, that Xena had refound her footing and moved so she’d be ready. Ready to end this, to bring about the revenge and redemption she needed, as twisted together as they were. 

Xena fell with Callisto, holding her close, because once they could have been friends. Callisto had joined the gang after Xena had started it, had joined as a smart, bright young girl who wanted to rise in the ranks, who was shrewd and calculating and cold but still an ally. Once, if things have been different, if they had met in a world and a way that hadn’t forced them to turn on each other, they could have been close, instead of trying to stab each other whenever the opportunity arose. So Xena sunk to the floor with Callisto in her arms and held her, held her and mourned for what could have been, but only for a moment because she felt like she had to. Just for a moment, because she felt like they both had earned it. 

But that moment passed, and with it Xena pulled her knife from Callisto’s belly and used it to slit her throat, ensuring the woman would never be cause for alarm again. 

It was easier leaving the building as it fell then it had been entering, her path unblocked by men as they scrambled for the door themselves, desperate to leave before the roof caved in upon them. Though the chances of that were slim- the building had stopped moving, though it tilted as an unusual angle, as if the building longed to fall but was only kept standing by the other three walls it stood upon. 

Because the fourth wall was caved in, a car parked where the wall should have been, a hole in its side showing where the car had entered before crashing into one of the weight bearing pillars. The doors of said car had been thrown open, and standing around it, bruised and banged up but not yet broken, one shooting at men as they raced by while the other smacked them with her staff, were Marcus and Gabrielle. 

She had gone to him, when she had woken without Xena by her side, when Gabrielle had realized that Xena had left for her death anyway. She had gone to Marcus and demanded that he help, that they find a way to get to Xena and save her so she wouldn’t die in this foolish attempt to end what she had begun. And Marcus had agreed, had loaded them both into the car and driven to the safe house, had driven the car straight through the wall so they could fight their way to Xena and save her. Save her and help her end Callisto and the organization, finally bringing peace to what remained of their little world. 

Only they barely had to fight, because with Callisto dead the men ran, leaving Marcus and Gabrielle little do until Xena finally found her way back to them.

If she had been in better shape, Xena was sure she would have been on the receiving end of at least one punch to the face, but as it was, her broken ribs and her bleeding cheeks and what was probably a chipped tooth enticed them to take pity on her, instead just bundling her into the car- which, somehow, by some form of miracle none of them would ever be able to understand, still worked- and backing out through the hole they had come in from. 

The building fell as they left; Marcus supposed that the car had been holding up the beam, and when they had left, so had the last of the support. The building fell, burying those who were too close under it, taking the last of the gang Xena had worked so hard to create with it. 

Not that she cared if the building stood or fell, for with Callisto dead the threat had died with her. All she cared about was the fact that she was somehow alive, her head resting in Gabrielle’s lap as Marcus drove them all to the closest hospital, his voice soft as he spoke into his cellphone to someone she couldn’t understand on the other end. 

All she cared about was the fact that she was free. 

* * *

They blamed it on a car accident, when the doctors asked, and with the state the car was in- the front smashed up, the window shattered, barely drivable yet somehow still alive- they had believed them without a second thought. Believed that Marcus had swerved to avoid hitting a herd of deer, right into a tree; that Xena, not wearing her seat belt, had gone through the window; and that, in a moment’s panic, the two of them had loaded her into the car and driven her in themselves instead of waiting for the police. The lie fell from everyone’s lips as easily as if it was the truth, and so everyone else took it as such. 

Cyrene knew, of course, and now that she wasn’t facing losing a daughter, she let Xena have it the moment they were alone, her voice harsh despite the quiet tones- howling her pain and anger and the thought that she had almost lost her loud enough for the world to hear only would have been slightly more effective. But instead her words were quiet, and as more of them tumbled from her lips they began to tremble, until finally Xena, awkwardly because of the series of casts the doctors had put her into, pulled her into a hug. 

A hug as she whispered reminders that she was there, that she was ok, that Cyrene wouldn’t have to lose another child to the world that had been fighting for so long against them, because she had won. She had won, and to die now would be nothing other than losing. And she, as Xena reminded her mother to get a smile (a small one, a small, watery one, but still a smile nonetheless), hated to lose. 

She left a few days later, bandaged and bruised but with a dozen reassurances that she would live, that she would be ok and would heal perfectly well. It hurt to walk, but she walked out on her own, Cyrene and Marcus close behind, Gabrielle leading the way out of the hospital so she could open the doors and clear a path for Xena to walk down. The entire time, doctors and nurses berated her for her foolishness, for her “lapse in judgement,” even as they offered her good luck in healing. And all of them found themselves confused as Xena turned and beamed at them, in such a way as they had never seen someone so injured do. 

But they didn’t know, didn’t know that this was the first time Xena had felt light in five years, that this was the first time her soul and her sins didn’t weigh upon her, and so they just shook their heads and shrugged. 

She was still in casts when finals began, though luckily her arm was free so she could take the finals for the classes she needed to, even if she did require extra time for the pain in her chest that slowed her movements. It would pass, the doctors had promised, after a few months’ time, but for now it ached when she moved- a pain she willingly and gladly bared, for what it had brought to her. 

She took her finals and spent the rest of her time lounging the sun, her head in Gabrielle’s lap or the two of them curled around each other, dozing as Gabrielle and Marcus teased each other about one thing or another, the three of them relaxing in the fact that they were finally done. Even if they failed their finals their grades were good enough to guarantee graduation, leaving nothing more for them to do. 

She was still in casts when she walked across the stage to get her diploma- and she had heard the whispers, knew that her ‘accident’ had become a cautionary tale amongst the other students and teachers and parents, but she didn’t, couldn’t, make herself care. She shook the principal’s hand as he handed her the diploma, a clumsy affair as she tried to move as little as possible, her bones still mending after the two week’s rest. She accepted the offered help down from the platform, stairs still a difficulty for her at times, though she told everyone that she was fine when asked. 

She took pictures with her mother, hugged Marcus as hard as she could, and took Gabrielle’s hand and kissed her when the ceremony was done, as her classmates threw their hats into the air and celebrated their freedom from high school. 

As she celebrated her freedom from it all. Because where the future would take her next, she wasn’t sure. She still had to finish healing, still had a few more weeks of doctor recommended bedrest and relaxation before she could decide her future. But she’d been looking- looking at colleges, looking at jobs, looking into how much it would take to buy the little store front that had once been her father’s defense studio to get it up and running once again; she looked at everything she could, because her entire future was free.

She was free, free from her sins, free from the darkness, free to rise as high as she desired onto any path she wished to take. The future was hers, free from her past. 

Free from it all.


End file.
